I’m falling apart. I can’t cope with this. I miss you, being suicidal 24/7 is really exhausting.
There’s nothing I want more than you but I can’t stand knowing how unhappy me and our relationship is making you. I love you more than anything, you were always the light at the end, my safe place, you made things feel okay for me, but you don’t want me anymore and that kills me. I don’t want you to think I’m giving up or walking away, because your happiness is all that matters to me. I’ve not mattered for a long time now. I don’t know how to put into words how much I love and appreciate you, and I’m sorry for all the grief and misery and pain I ever caused you. Just remember you’re loved and get over me. I’m sorry, goodbye baby xx
Ive been really suicidal for a while now, everyone’s given up on me or hates me and I think I’ve lost the only person that’s ever made me feel like I matter. I’m such a horrible horrible person, I deserve this. I’ve ruined the only good thing in my life. I wish you still loved me. I can’t cope anymore.
I took a load of tablets earlier but all it’s done is give me a bad stomach and I cut myself and it’s given me a rash. I can’t even numb myself now without fucking it up.
sorry ive neglected this blog, im suicidal as fuck all the time. i got down to 115 though, hope everyone is well x